


"Worst Celebrity Baby Names of the New Millennium" - by Rita Skeeter

by AjaGolde



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Baby Names, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Gen, Harry Potter Epilogue Compliant, Learning To Be Parents, Light Angst, Married Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Names, learning to be spouses, meta disguised as fic, name angst, not really snape friendly but he wasn't a friendly guy so he wouldn't care, sort of - I poke the epilogue with a stick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 09:13:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18962272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AjaGolde/pseuds/AjaGolde
Summary: Sometimes, Harry missed when Ginny Weasely had been intimidated by him. When she would squeak and blush and run away, utterly in awe of him. Now, she was usually angry at him. Granted, Harry enjoyed goading her and dodging her very creative hexes, and she also enjoyed being angry and casting said hexes, but this time, he hadn’t even tried to needle her. No, Harry had done nothing but be himself, and she was livid.“Never say those two names together ever again.”“Albus Severus,” Harry said and then neatly dodged a jinx.Or: Harry has the perfect name for their next child. Ginny disagrees.





	"Worst Celebrity Baby Names of the New Millennium" - by Rita Skeeter

Sometimes, Harry missed when Ginny Weasely had been intimidated by him. When she would squeak and blush and run away, utterly in awe of him. Now, she was usually angry at him. Granted, Harry enjoyed goading her and dodging her very creative hexes, and she also enjoyed being angry and casting said hexes, but this time, he hadn’t even _tried_ to needle her. No, Harry had done nothing but be himself, and she was _livid_.

“Never say those two names together ever again.”

“Albus Severus,” Harry said and then neatly dodged a jinx.

“ _Ugh_ ,” she shivered dramatically.

“What’s so wrong with that name? Albus and Severus are _heroes_ Gin. It’s a very heroic name.”

Ginny struggled with the pillows beneath her burgeoning frame, trying to sit upright. Harry was a bit too wary of her wand to help and eventually Ginny cast a spell that fluffed the pillows for her.

“That’s better,” she murmured, and then settled down again, “As I was saying, _ugh_. Albus I can understand, though the name is terribly old-fashioned. I know the Headmaster was like a father to you, even though we may disagree about how he chose to go about it.”

It was an old argument and Harry, one child and many domestic arguments under his belt, wisely knew when to avoid escalating it.

“But Severus? We hated him!”

“He redeemed himself though, didn’t he? He was on our side all along. He fought for us.”

“Just because he was on our side, doesn’t mean he wasn’t an utter dick. Or have you completely and conveniently forgotten Potions class?”

“Gin.”

Harry conjured a stool so he could sit next to her by the sofa. It was easier to talk to her when he wasn’t looming over her, even though it made escape from her hexes a bit more difficult.

“He loved my mum.”

Ginny frowned, just a light creasing of her forehead that meant she wasn’t angry, she was just considering something rather hard, and then might be angry after. Ginny frowned and scowled and smirked a lot more than she smiled, and it was something Harry was secretly fond of. He liked that she was as angry and prickly as he was. It made for some truly fantastic Seeker’s games between them.

“People who loved your mum are not in short supply,” she eventually said, “if that’s your only criteria, then we have a lot more names to choose from.”

“It’s not - it’s.”

He clasped his hands together, cracking the knuckles. She placed her hand over his, squeezing gently. He started to crack her knuckles too.

“Stop that,” she snapped, but there was a smirk on her face.

She playfully slapped his shoulder and Harry feigned hurt, grabbing his arm as if it was bleeding all over the place. She giggle-snorted, unfortunately the only way she knew how to giggle, and then cast her pillow fluffing charm again.

“Is this your attempt to forgive Snape?” she asked.

She was always able to get right back into the argument, another thing they had in common. Sometimes, like now, it was annoying. Harry could never charm her or turn her off from a disagreement, could never just get her to give in.

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

“He died for me, for my mum. I can’t want to honor that?”

“With a name like Albus Severus? I should think not. Poor thing would be teased endlessly. Also, that’s a very heavy name to live up to.”

Harry just mulishly set his jaw, because he didn’t have a counter-argument for that one.

“You know how powerful names can be, Harry James Potter.”

“Shut up,” he muttered.

“Your wish is my command, O Chosen One.”

He stared at the sofa cushions. They had a lively print, with Quidditch balls floating as if in play, whizzing around and around and around.

“I do want to forgive him,” Harry said, eyes as always on the Snitch.

“So you haven’t yet?”

He very carefully followed the Snitch over the middle cushion. 

“I don’t know. He. He can’t have been all bad. He loved my mum and she liked him, at least when they were kids. He did all that spying and all that work undermining the Dark Lord in secret for her. His patronus was a doe for his entire life. Don’t you want a love like that?”

Ginny sighed, long and slow, and then the cushions tipped and scrunched as she moved. Her head came down against his shoulder, her soft hair brushing against his cheek and tickling his ear.

“No, Harry. I don’t.”

Harry lost sight of the Snitch. He swallowed heavily and couldn’t unstick the words from the back of his very dry throat.

“He loved your mum enough to attempt to save her, but for almost two decades after he was too blinded by his own pain to see any of Lily in you. I would say his hatred of James was stronger than his love for Lily - he treated you like shite.”

“Hermione called it verbal abuse,” Harry said, because this was not the first time he’d had to discuss Snape. He’d been a bit of an idiot to think naming his kid Albus _Severus_ wouldn't bring up that ugly discussion again.

“He _did_ verbally abuse you. He spent years taking his hatred out on you. He may have loved your mum, but it was in a possessive way. He hated the choices she made because they didn’t include _him_. He hated James. He hated you. So did he really even love her?”

Harry tensed.

“I - sorry. I didn’t mean to - I’m sorry Harry.”

She drew away and Harry missed her immediately. Her voice was nice and rumbly when she was pressed right up against him, the vibrations of her voice passing right through his heart.

“I can’t forgive him for the way he treated you. For the way he treated _us _, the students in his care. He may have had a heroic death, but the man was not a hero. Not like you.”__

__There were tears in her eyes, Harry noticed with growing despair. He had made his pregnant wife cry. Over the name of their unborn child. Merlin’s balls._ _

__“I agreed on James Sirius because I’d be an arsehole if I said ‘no Harry, you can’t name him after your dead father and godfather’. I know how much they meant to you, how much having a family of your own means to you. But...."_ _

__She cupped his cheek with one of her hands. She was frowning again, the frown that meant she was worried and probably about to hurt him with more of her words._ _

__“You have to let them go. Naming them won’t bring them back, won’t give you a second chance. And our little boy needs to be his own person.”_ _

__Harry stood up and walked to the window, where he could watch the sunset. Ginny was a bit too pregnant to get up and follow him, which Harry was definitely not taking advantage of, not at all. In the background, he heard the soft swish of Ginny performing the well-baby check-up spell, something she still frequently used on James, who was slumbering away upstairs. She was a worry-wort like her mother, though she’d never admit it._ _

__Of course, that comparison suddenly gave Harry a burst of unwanted insight._ _

__“We could name him Albus Arthur,” he said, squinting very hard at the sunset._ _

__“Albus Arthur?” she laughed, “Alliteration your thing now?”_ _

__“No,” Harry said, frustrated, “I just meant. You know. I realized.”_ _

__He turned around, very grumpy, to regard his wife, who was still giggle-snorting._ _

__“You know what I meant.”_ _

__“Yes, fortunately I’ve gotten very good at deciphering your mumbles, or maybe I just know you. I don’t want to name our child after my parents, or my brother, or any other relative dead or alive. But thanks for finally getting your head out of your arse and realizing it’s not all about you.”_ _

__Harry’s cheeks burned and not with embarrassment._ _

__“I know it’s not all about me!”_ _

__“Oh really,” she sat up from her pillows, and there was a joyful blazing light in her eyes._ _

__Ginny _loved_ to argue._ _

__“Do you remember when you held our first child for the first time and told me ‘he’s a James, Gin. And our girl, if we had one, we could name her Lily, so they’d match. My parents would like that, I think’. And now you’re all ‘Albus Severus, Ginny.' Not once did you ever ask what I wanted to name our children.”_ _

__The worst part was that she ‘did the voices’ when she mocked people. She made her voice all deep and thick like Harry was a particularly dumb creature, some caveman perhaps._ _

__“You never suggested any names.”_ _

__“I gave you a whole list!”_ _

__Harry possibly hadn’t read that list. Pretty sure he threw it away. He hadn’t felt terrible then, but sure did now._ _

__“You’re right,” he admitted, “I didn’t read it. I didn’t read it because I already knew which names I wanted.”_ _

__Ginny softened now that she’d won the argument, “I do like the names James and Lily, though I think it’s sort of morbid. It’s like inviting a ghost to haunt your child, but that’s only happened like, maybe a dozen documented times. And your parents were nice, so our child is probably safe.”_ _

__“I didn’t realize that could happen.” The magical world still surprised him, even after all these years._ _

__She waved it off, “It’s fine. Like I said, not all that common. But I’d rather not risk it with a name like Albus Severus.”_ _

__She grinned at him, cheekily, but she was only grinning because she knew Harry had changed his mind, knew he had conceded when he suggested Arthur instead of Severus. Harry released a deep breath and reflected that this afternoon he had lost pretty much every argument. There was knowledge to be won in losing, though._ _

__“So if the names of dead heroes and relatives are off the table, what do you have in mind?”_ _

__She smiled at him, brilliantly and knowingly, and it was so much better than any second year awe and fawning._ _

__“I have a list.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> I am named after two dead relatives and I like it. I just think Harry went a bit too far with this one lol. 
> 
> Also, I don't hate Snape, I just hate the way he treated people and while Harry's the type to forgive, I think Ginny is the type to hold a grudge. But she does it out of love for Harry in this case.


End file.
